Tekking101 Strawhat Analyst (Rewrite)
by ThePainZain
Summary: Our favorite perverted anime/manga discussion YouTuber Tekking101 is thrown into the world of One Piece. When he encounters the Strawhat Pirates anything can happen.


**A/N - I'm gonna put all of this together so I can do this story right. Who knows? I might actually set a word limit.**

Mathew Crawford or Tekking liked to think that he was a pretty down to earth guy, so when he woke up to the smell of sea water, cola, and cooking meat for the first time in his life he questioned his sanity. As he got over the intial fear of being seemingly kidnapped. He observed his surroundings and realized that he was in room filled with hammocks, and he recognized it.

Yep he was going crazy. Knowing that he would be here for a while he decided to investigate. Matt hesitantly grabbed the door knob and slowly turned, and he asked himself if he should really risk seeing what was behind the door, but he eventually threw caution to the wind, going with the reasoning that he would most likely be there a while, so he should scope out the area.

With that he pushed the door a smidge, and he saw Nico Robin, the archeologist of the Strawhat crew, lounging on a lawn chair in a silk bikini that left little to the imagination, and holding a book in her hands. She looked relaxed and peaceful. Seeing this Matt pretty much slammed the door, and in doing so alerted everyone to his presence.

"We may have an intruder." Robin stated with an aura of collected grace. Hearing that Matt quickly searched for a place to hide.

'What the hell man! Why'd you slam the door? This isn't Outlast!!' Matt thought to himself. He quickly ran to look for a place to hide, but came to the realization that Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji could find him if he hid anyway due to them possessing observation haki.

"Damn." Matt cursed under his breath. He knew that he'd have to face the music, but what would he say to them? Oh, sorry. I just teleported to your ship while sleeping! For now he'd have to hold that thought because at that exact moment the door handle turned and was followed by a long drawn out creeking sound, like a thousand of gouls howling in the wind, and he saw the towering figure of Roronoa Zoro, the first-mate and swordsmen was before him.

"Well, shit." Matt accepted. He really should've known better. They have haki. Hiding is pretty much useless.

"Who are you and what're you doing on our ship? Zoro questioned as he readied his swords in case he doesn't like what he hears. Matt stiffened before introducing himself.

"Uh, m-Matthew Crawford a-and er... I don't know. Matt confessed in a long drawn out stutter that seemed to rock the ship along with his quaking hands. He just wanted to make a video on the latest chapter and maybe do a livestream.

'Ok, what can I do in this situation? Running? Hell no. Fighting? That's even worse!' Tekking thought to himself as Zoro slowly drew out Wado Ichimonji, a sword with a gold hilt and white handle, and held it up to Mathew's throat.

"You're coming with us." Zoro stated simply with a look that showed irritation and boredom as he led Matt to the Interrogation room (the crow's nest) where they proceeded to tie him up.

"Are you sure he's a threat? He just looks like some pasty white kid." Usopp asked.

'Pasty white kid?' Matt thought as he turned his head toward Usopp.

"I'm actually 25, so if anyone's the kid it's you Mr. I'm-19!" Matt retorted. Then there was silence as his words soaked in.

A Beat

Everyone's jaws were touching the floor at this point, and nobody knew what to do.

'Godammit Matt. Why'd you have to let slip that you know something you shouldn't?' Matt thought as he sunk further in his seat.

"How... d-did you know that!?" Usopp stuttered as he pulled out his slingshot. Now Mathew was in panic mode because he knew what that slingshot could do, he made discussion videos about all nine of the people in the room he was standing in!

"Sugei! How did you know that? Are you a psycic!?" Luffy exclaimed. "Ooh! Me next, no wait do Brook!"

'Perfect I can hopefully gain Luffy's trust, so they don't do anything rash.' Matt thought as a plan formulated in his head. 'Okay time to use those good old cringey acting skills'

"Yes, yes! I can see it... the boney soul king is in fact... 90 and a quarter years old!" The newly dubbed 'fortune tekking' announced with a practiced enthusiasm. He even materialized a purple fortune-telling hat from Oda knows where.

"Liar." Everyone excluding Luffy and Chopper, who looked elated, responded in monotone. Noticing this Matt deflated.

'My acting isn't that bad.' Matt thought as he sulked. Matt then noticed that everyone was arguing as he regained his composure.

"But how could he know your ages if he isn't psycic?" Luffy questioned.

"Yeah!" Chopper agreed.

Nami responded, "He's most likely a marine spy."

"Then please explain how I got on your ship without one of the monster trio noticing, or why I don't even have a sword or gun to defend myself." Matt interjected. Hearing those words most of the crew were stumped. His points made sense.

"I agree. According to some information I found from CP9 he'd have put up more of a fight, but he would most likely know rokushiki." Robin stated.

"Then how'd he get on the Sunny? Devil Fruit?" Franky questioned.

"Wait a minute!" Mathew shouted. "I don't even know how I got here. You guys shouldn't even exist!"

"What the hell do you mean!!" Sanji all but screamed.

"Oh shit." Matt sobbed. At this moment in time he seriously wanted to got to the nearest wall and just... you get the idea.

"Stop talking nonsense!" Franky shouted, but before anything else could happen a bright light flashed before everyone's eyes. What they saw was... interesting to say the least. Another Matt appeared from beyond the light, and his clothes appeared to be a little more decrepit and worn. His face was also a little scratched and dirty. The weirdest part however was that he was holding. He was holding a DollarTree bag of all things.

'I enjoy my job, but not this much.' Past Matt thought as he sweatdropped.

"It was the best I could do on such short notice, but you're me, so i'll cut you some slack." Future Matt remarked as he set the bag in front of Present Matt's chair. "There, so you can go and explain you're little slip up."

"Uhh... why are you all... beat-up?" Present Matt asked, but before he got an answer Matt from the future disappeared, and the Strawhats were given time to digest all the information they were given.

"What the actual fuck just happened!" Nami shouted.

"It appears that our intruder can use time travel of some sort. Robin confirmed.

"That's so cool!" Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Franky exclaimed. The three of them were just about to ask Matt how he did that, but Sanji interjected before they could.

"Still, what did you mean by we don't exist shitty-intruder?" Sanji questioned

"Yeah, I have to agree with the crap cook over there. Not too many people deny the existence of reality." Zoro agreed. Everyone then looked at Matt for answers.

'Okay, so I'm basically stuck between a rock and hard place. Great.' Matt thought to himself and sighed. 'Fuck it.'

"Just untie me and I'll explain, and don't worry I know not to try anything. I'm not stupid enough to fuck with a crew who could quite literally turn me into hamburger." Matt suggested.

"Makes sense!" Luffy exclaimed as he untied Matt before anyone could object. Then Matt grabbed the bag and took out each item. Inside was a laptop, some manga chapters of One Piece, and a letter.

'Wonder what this is.' Matt thought as he unfolded the letter.

'Dear Matt, I noticed that you're in a bit of a predicament, so I waited for the perfect time to give you your gift bag of proof. The phone is more than it seems however. I managed to give it full access to wifi with 'magic'. Sincerely, ThePainZain.

'P.S. Don't forget about your perverse ways

"What the fuck... problems for another time." Matt mumbled to himself.

"What are you waiting for? Explain!" Nami complained.

"Okay, okay, I think I know what future me was going for." Matt stated as he took out volume 23.

"Basically, the only people who witnessed the fight between Luffy and Crocodile was Cobra and Robin. Which means that there's no way anyone could've drawn the scene!" He then showed everyone the black and white pages. Everyone except Luffy were shocked.

"No way! There has to be an explanation!" Nami shouted.

"Yeah! Nami-Swan is always right!" Sanji interjected.

Matt just sighed. "Fine. I got more proof that is quite decisive and prove that-"

"Shut up."

"What." Matt responded with a dumbfounded expression.

"I said shut up." Luffy commanded as everyone looked over at him. His eyes were shadowed under his hat, and he had a suddenly terrifying aura that told them he coukd fly off the handle any second. "If none of this is real then what's the point of this adventure? If it's all planned out then why!?"


End file.
